There is something magical when I am able to come home and gorge on hummus and garlic pita chips. And that’s not all, there’s cake. Motherfucking marble cake. I didn’t even have to share it with anyone. Score! Though, I discovered that Brekkie enjoys hummus, or at least having it on the tip of his nose. I warned him that it would probably give him the squirts, but he just looked at me with his large, round eyes and meeped.
Be prepared to puke in your hand after reading this—it probably reveals too much about who I am:
Me: Happy afternoon, sweetie. Thank you for all the fun this morning, last night, this weekend…
CSP: Good afternoon to you. I had a nice weekend too. Thank you for everything.
Me: It was all my pleasure! I very much enjoy being with you.
CSP: Likewise.
Me: Even when I’m crying during a 60 Minute segment on South Park? Because if so, when you go to brag about how awesome your girlfriend is, you may want to leave that part out. :) *
CSP: Your secret’s safe with me.
Me: That’s only because you’re a man of few words. Perhaps you’ll fart my secret to everyone instead?
CSP: Keep it up and I’ll make sure everybody knows.
Me: No one knows what your farts are trying to say, so I’m not particularly worried.
* I had no idea that watching South Park would make me cry. It came as quite a shock. But here’s the thing. Back in the way back when, in August of 1997, the first episode of South Park aired, and I just happened to be watching, and this scene changed my life:
Specifically, I immediately announced I am naming my kitten Potpie. And so, Potpie was named. He wasn’t born yet, that would happen two weeks later on September 1, and I wouldn’t bring my little Whoopis home until some time in November, but he was named Potpie, and he was the best little guy ever. And so, I apparently cry when watching South Park now. And that damn 60 Minutes segment even showed this damn clip. Motherfuckers.
The two sides of Clementine.
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