There wasn't much drawing me to the downtown activities today, except for Stephin Merritt and the Magnetic Field's Strange Powers documentary playing at the Alamo Ritz. Unfortunately, no one really wanted to go see it with me. Poo. The best solution to that kind of disappoint me was to go home and take a 3-hour nap. There are so many people out there who are just unable to enjoy a nap. If I had to choose between food and sleep, sleep will win every single time. Even better is that starving generally makes me sleepy anyway. Sure at first my stomach growling will be a bit distracting, but I just hunker down under my covers and get to the business of sleeping.
Lately, I've been shirking a bit of my hardcore sleeping by staying up past my bedtime to read a book Ivy Vyne recommended, The Tea Rose. It's a riveting read--a bit pulp historical romance and a bit literary. A combination I can get behind, especially after suffering through 2009's Best American Short Stories (damn you Alice Sebold and your bad taste). It's a good plot-driven book, and is way too easy to rationalize just one more chapter three or more times in a row. This is probably a good book to give to someone like The Boy's mom or Wikus' mom. It's always to have a good list of those on hand. I should have it finished by tomorrow or Saturday at the latest.
Wikus and Esquire spent the afternoon downtown while I was napping, and Esquire wanted to have one last dinner with us. The Boy was recording with one of his bands, so he couldn't go. Wikus said Esquire was fine with Italian, Hamburgers or more Tex-Mex. We just had Tex-Mex last night (and my god, he's eaten breakfast tacos like three days in a row), and the Italian place I like would probably have a line out the door at 7:30pm at night. So hamburgers it was. I neglected to mention the best hamburgers were at a dark steakhouse that lawyers frequent. That was kind of funny. He did agree it was a damn good hamburger. I decided to go for the housemade veggie burger since my intestines still seemed pissed off with me. Though, The Boy just came home with a fatty slice of cake with coffee icing (that tasted like fresh whipped cream). Take that innards! It's after midnight and I feed you cake. What exactly do you plan to do about it?
The boys can't stop saying "I'm disabled" in a high quivering falsetto. It's from the IT Crowd. I highly recommend it. Then you can say it too, and I'll giggle every single time. It's almost as good as ending every sentence with "I'm homeless." I need to start carrying around a little notebook to jot down other hilarity that Wikus provides.
I forgot to mention yesterday: being a short person in a crowd of tall people, I tend to notice ears a lot. Especially when standing outside during live shows that I could never hope to actually see the band. The sun hits ears in just the right way for me to see tons of wax on the outer rim of the ear, and just how man hipster guys don't seem to be hip to the idea of trimming their ear hair. Please keep this in mind the next time you go to a show--us short people only have so much to stare at: ears, neck fat rolls, hairy backs, etc. Be kind and clean yourself up before stepping out of the house.
Speaking of neck rolls (or neck hotdogs as I prefer to call them), the guy in front of me yesterday (while I was suffering through Roky Erikson and Okkervil River) had a hat on with www.phoenixhouse.com embroidered on the back. I stared at that for so long that I couldn't help looking it up when I got home. Now I wish I had asked him why he wanted to advertise like that. Maybe he works there and the cap was a goody bag given at a teamwork seminar. Or, he just likes being open with his substance-abusive past. All I know is he had some pretty thick neck hotdogs, and they kept drawing my attention up to his hat.
Kebabalicious let me down this year. It was closed when I went by there yesterday, and I got Esquire all excited for some tasty Turkish kebabs, that he tried to go again today, and it was closed again, at 3:30pm! What gives? I can only assume they ran out of food. Unforgivable! It's SXSW, you have good food, do the math. Bring plenty of food for poop's sake.
Showing posts with label The IT Crowd. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The IT Crowd. Show all posts
13 December 2009
Couch Sunday
Spent my day in my night pants and my shill shirt, under a blanket, on the couch, with a rotating shift of cats snuggled against my belly. Sure, I felt guilty a lot of times for this being my whole day (mostly). Feeling a bit depressed, the reasons I am not going to air here. I did accomplish cleaning the horror-show of our bathroom. The Orange Lover, as mentioned before, has his good and bad days. The last two days have been bad. He has managed to pee multiple times on the floor, pooed in various places except for the litterbox, and threw up at least two of his meals. There's also the litter that has been spread on top of every surface: toilet, sink, counter, floor. Accomplishing cleaning that was so depressing: a) because it is dirty work, and b) it is an in-my-face representation of the decline of my best friend. I also made some Tollhouse cookies from a tube. Then I ate half of them. That's right, half of them. I would have eaten more if I knew it wouldn't make me feel so guilty for doing it. Damn you guilt.
To make it worse, it was finally sunny outside today, and I only got off the couch twice, and neither time was it to leave the house. I think it even made it in to the 70s. So lame of me.
Oh, and I watched this really fucked-up show on the BBC America channel. "Britain's Missing Top Model." Was there a Top Model from Britain missing? Was this show following the mystery and detective work to find her? Could that possibly be a show. I checked out the description and it seemed like a regular Top Model show. Heck yes, I tuned in, and oh, my, god. This is a show about ladies who have some kind of disability. Some were born without a limb or deaf; others had a horrific accident or some rare disease. It was crazy. I was shocked. It was so crude. Yet, at the same time, I understood that these people chose to be on this show, and each of them wanted to be a model, and that the modeling industry probably doesn't usually have a lady in a wheelchair on the catwalk. But come on, we all know that people are watching it just to see women with missing limbs posing in their underwear! And so help me, I was one of those people, and I have set the DVR to record all new episodes. I feel so evil and dirty.
Yesterday was a busy day with Wikus. He was kind enough to help with at the PO with all my Chicken Day packages. I learned the automated machine, and my life is changed forever at the PO. I probably won't avoid it as much now. Chicken Day cards are in the mail! Packages are on their way. Then we went to view my mosaic at the museum. You can see it as soon as you open the door. There is some pretty good competition, and I really have no idea what the outcome will be. The judging happens this week. Next up was book-shopping for Wikus' mom, which was mostly me suggesting books I have read (some Wikus has read), and balancing whether his born-again mother would appreciate the book based on how much sex, drugs and other sins were in it, and finding the right balance. We have given her T.C. Boyle in the past and Christopher Moore, so we know that she can handle sex and comedy, but it can be a bit challenging to keep that combo going across a broader expanse of authors. In the end, we got her "A Dirty Job," by Christopher Moore and "The Secret History," by Donna Tartt. The first one Wikus hasn't read, but is trusting me that it is good, and the second one he has read since I gave it to him as a gift. Lastly, we went to a small art fair that happens every year, and features some really quirky artist. I bought my Gaysian friend something hilarious for Chicken Day that I really hope he enjoys. He's been wishing for a Pegacorn (Pegasus and Unicorn mix), and this was the best I could find. As always, when ever I buy him a gift, I'm totally jealous to have to give it up. The rest of the day we watched TV (caught up on Dollhouse), and then Life Aquatic (a movie I love, but totally better on a large screen with all those colors), then The IT Crowd. By the second episode I was dead asleep and The Boy had to drive Wikus home.
Today the back of my thighs hurt from spending all of yesterday in heels. No matter, since I lazed on the couch the whole time.
And no, I still have not started the mosaic I am supposed to have like half-done by now. I have zero motivation. The same goes with the grocery store and laundry that desperately needs to happen. Look, I cleaned up mass amounts of cat pee, poo and vomit today. There's only so much I can handle these days.
Did I forget to mention the 3-hour nap I took this afternoon. Maybe I need to move up my psych appointment to discuss tweaking my meds.
Anyway, if you are in Texas and know the details (you know who you are), please go see my mosaic and vote for it for the People's Choice Award. Thanks!
To make it worse, it was finally sunny outside today, and I only got off the couch twice, and neither time was it to leave the house. I think it even made it in to the 70s. So lame of me.
Oh, and I watched this really fucked-up show on the BBC America channel. "Britain's Missing Top Model." Was there a Top Model from Britain missing? Was this show following the mystery and detective work to find her? Could that possibly be a show. I checked out the description and it seemed like a regular Top Model show. Heck yes, I tuned in, and oh, my, god. This is a show about ladies who have some kind of disability. Some were born without a limb or deaf; others had a horrific accident or some rare disease. It was crazy. I was shocked. It was so crude. Yet, at the same time, I understood that these people chose to be on this show, and each of them wanted to be a model, and that the modeling industry probably doesn't usually have a lady in a wheelchair on the catwalk. But come on, we all know that people are watching it just to see women with missing limbs posing in their underwear! And so help me, I was one of those people, and I have set the DVR to record all new episodes. I feel so evil and dirty.
Yesterday was a busy day with Wikus. He was kind enough to help with at the PO with all my Chicken Day packages. I learned the automated machine, and my life is changed forever at the PO. I probably won't avoid it as much now. Chicken Day cards are in the mail! Packages are on their way. Then we went to view my mosaic at the museum. You can see it as soon as you open the door. There is some pretty good competition, and I really have no idea what the outcome will be. The judging happens this week. Next up was book-shopping for Wikus' mom, which was mostly me suggesting books I have read (some Wikus has read), and balancing whether his born-again mother would appreciate the book based on how much sex, drugs and other sins were in it, and finding the right balance. We have given her T.C. Boyle in the past and Christopher Moore, so we know that she can handle sex and comedy, but it can be a bit challenging to keep that combo going across a broader expanse of authors. In the end, we got her "A Dirty Job," by Christopher Moore and "The Secret History," by Donna Tartt. The first one Wikus hasn't read, but is trusting me that it is good, and the second one he has read since I gave it to him as a gift. Lastly, we went to a small art fair that happens every year, and features some really quirky artist. I bought my Gaysian friend something hilarious for Chicken Day that I really hope he enjoys. He's been wishing for a Pegacorn (Pegasus and Unicorn mix), and this was the best I could find. As always, when ever I buy him a gift, I'm totally jealous to have to give it up. The rest of the day we watched TV (caught up on Dollhouse), and then Life Aquatic (a movie I love, but totally better on a large screen with all those colors), then The IT Crowd. By the second episode I was dead asleep and The Boy had to drive Wikus home.
Today the back of my thighs hurt from spending all of yesterday in heels. No matter, since I lazed on the couch the whole time.
And no, I still have not started the mosaic I am supposed to have like half-done by now. I have zero motivation. The same goes with the grocery store and laundry that desperately needs to happen. Look, I cleaned up mass amounts of cat pee, poo and vomit today. There's only so much I can handle these days.
Did I forget to mention the 3-hour nap I took this afternoon. Maybe I need to move up my psych appointment to discuss tweaking my meds.
Anyway, if you are in Texas and know the details (you know who you are), please go see my mosaic and vote for it for the People's Choice Award. Thanks!
06 December 2009
The Annual Making of Chicken Day Cards
Did I mention yesterday was hella cold? Well, it was. Last night Wikus and I had planned to put together our Chicken Day cards. We do this every year, but it isn't usually so damn cold when we set out on our project. Wikus has a terrible apartment. It is one of those that looks pretty nice, but is really a hideous craphole. I have a lot of guilt over this, because I pretty much got him this apartment--I am obviously a fool who falls for pretty things. Anyway, to prove how crappy this apartment is, last night Wikus was deep-frying tasty tasty tasty french fries and defrosting some Boca Chik'n patties, which made the power got out. I am not shitting you. He yelled, "WHAT IS THIS? BOSTON!" That's the kind of shit we put up with in Boston, but not here. The even more fucked-up bit was it was obvious that there was still some kind of ghost power happening. The light on the digital-converter box was on, and the faintest of glows emitted from the overhead light, yet nothing would turn on for us, no matter how many breaker switches Wikus popped on and off in the box. I told him to get a flashlight and go outside to see if he could find the main breaker box for his apartment. I sat in the dark and ate some french fries while he was out in the cold. See what a good friend I am? He managed to find the box, where there were two switches: one on and one off. Flipping the switch made the lights come back on, which was awesome. Except, EXCEPT, to keep the power on, we had to turn off the heat. That's right. TURN OFF THE HEAT. Mind you, his apartment could not have possibly been over 50 degrees in there with the heat set on maximum. Yet, this was too much for the apartment to handle.
At that point, considering my hands were numb, and I was fearful that my nose was going to fall off due to frostbite, we gave up on the idea of the Chicken Day cards for the night, and just watched a few episodes of The IT Crowd. If you have not watched this show, you must do it NOW. You can watch it on Netflix. Yeah!
However, that meant we had to get to work today. His apartment was marginally warmer. He already had the design made, and we had purchased cardstock this past Monday, so it was just a matter of me choosing the colors for the design and him doing all the cutting and folding. I messed around in Illustrator while he did the grunt work.
After a lunch of tasty tasty Tex-Mex (with The Boy in tow), we came back to my house (where it is warmer!) to assemble the cards. We managed to sit at the kitchen table for a couple of hours without breaking a window. Yeah us. Part of our annual tradition with the cards is to have a haiku. We make it up on the spot together, every single year. This year I did one-third and he did the rest, with me making a minor change resulting in a gerund.
This is a limited edition, and if you want your Chicken Day card, you better make sure I have your current address. We'll make more as needed, but it may end up being after Chicken Day (12/17), because we tend to get a bit lazy when it is cold outside.
Tomorrow: Tales of pet-sitting good times. Including: the children of one of Wikus' cats, and a bunny. Oh my god! Have you ever just sat and watched a bunny eat lettuce? It is almost as awesome as watching my tortoise eat lettuce. A damn amazing good time.
At that point, considering my hands were numb, and I was fearful that my nose was going to fall off due to frostbite, we gave up on the idea of the Chicken Day cards for the night, and just watched a few episodes of The IT Crowd. If you have not watched this show, you must do it NOW. You can watch it on Netflix. Yeah!
However, that meant we had to get to work today. His apartment was marginally warmer. He already had the design made, and we had purchased cardstock this past Monday, so it was just a matter of me choosing the colors for the design and him doing all the cutting and folding. I messed around in Illustrator while he did the grunt work.
After a lunch of tasty tasty Tex-Mex (with The Boy in tow), we came back to my house (where it is warmer!) to assemble the cards. We managed to sit at the kitchen table for a couple of hours without breaking a window. Yeah us. Part of our annual tradition with the cards is to have a haiku. We make it up on the spot together, every single year. This year I did one-third and he did the rest, with me making a minor change resulting in a gerund.
This is a limited edition, and if you want your Chicken Day card, you better make sure I have your current address. We'll make more as needed, but it may end up being after Chicken Day (12/17), because we tend to get a bit lazy when it is cold outside.
Tomorrow: Tales of pet-sitting good times. Including: the children of one of Wikus' cats, and a bunny. Oh my god! Have you ever just sat and watched a bunny eat lettuce? It is almost as awesome as watching my tortoise eat lettuce. A damn amazing good time.
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