18 June 2012

She’s Always Going to Win the “My Life Is Worse Than Yours” Contest

This will not be a very funny post.

There was this wonderful girl I knew in college, though, really, honestly, at the time I didn’t know how awesome she was. She was quiet with an impish smile, and I liked how she’d occasionally exchange conspiratorial glances with me, but I never bothered to really get to know her. I was a bit of a self-centered jerk back then (or at least, more so than I am now). At this point I couldn’t even tell you how many classes we had together; though, I’m pretty sure we were in at least one writing class together, because I can picture her in one of those musty old classrooms with the grey winter light seeping sleepily through the windows. She had such astoundingly awesomely round cheeks. I’m not sure we’ve ever even touched hands, give each other a hug or a friendly arm squeeze.

Yet, I have spent the past day crying for her. As with many people I kind of sort of knew from college, we reconnected through Facebook. We’ve exchanged some delightfully raunchy emails that I won’t give anyone the pleasure of reading, because they are so honest and trashy. She is someone I would definitely enjoy getting to know better, and getting drunk with, and I’m pretty sure she knows how to have a thousand times more fun than I am capable of mustering. She is, if this is even possible, a bigger animal lover than I am. She is sweet and a badass, which is a fairly rare combination. And her life motherfucking sucks.

You don’t even know what a bad day is until you know her story. Yet, I’m willing to bet she is still grinning and giving people shit. My friend suffers from Crohn’s disease (go ahead, click that link if you don’t know what that means, and then weep that this is just the first thing I’m telling you). For over a year now she has been fighting an aggressive form of breast cancer…in her mid-30s. She kicked that fucking cancer’s ass, and just got her port removed (oh, you don’t know what that is either, go ahead, imagine living with that). She’s looking awesome, and having a kickass time with friends. While she was busy going through the grueling chemotherapy, and doing her best to not die from cancer, her husband was cheating on her. Yes, you read that right. They got divorced while she was still going through treatment, and their two-year anniversary would have been last week, and he had the fucking nerve to text her, and start up shit that he had no business starting.

And if that wasn’t enough, seriously, if that wasn’t fucking enough, she was hit by a car as she crossed the street in front of her house last Thursday. I had been absent from FB for a couple of days, so didn’t even know until Sunday afternoon. And shit, it’s not pretty. Both her legs are broken, and so is her pelvis, and she has some facial injuries (I honestly don’t know how bad). She’s going to be in recovery for months, and due to her other illnesses, it’s going to be even more complicated. Why can’t this woman win already? I was sitting around yesterday all bitchy about something extraordinarily stupid, and this was one hell of a reality check.

Obviously she’s been only able to work a very limited amount due to the cancer, and just when things were starting to get better, she is knocked about as far down as someone can be knocked before being declared officially dead. She doesn’t have a lot of money, and had been walking dogs as a part-time gig. That’s going to be really hard to do from a hospital bed when her lower half is broken.

This is the sort of thing I have a really hard time handling. My mind just kind of skitters around it. I want to be able to go visit her, but she’s in Boston, she’s in ICU, I’ve never visited her before, etc. Thus, this post is the best I can do to honor her. I know this is extremely weird to ask, but if you have some extra money, and don’t mind donating it to an amazing person, would you consider donating to help her pay for her always-increasing medical expenses, and to take care of her animals, and her other bills? Anything will help. Or, if you don’t want to do money, will you make her something? A card, a piece of art, something that is surprising and fun, that will remind her that while her life really does suck that even strangers can offer love. That’s so damn cheesy, but really, imagine if that was your life? I know I would need many people rooting for me, because I would have wanted to kill myself way before getting to this point.

Either contact me, or go to her donation site. Please and thank you.

PS: Any details I did not get 100% correct, I’m sorry—it’s not like I could do fact-checking with her at the moment while she is laid up all swollen and woozy.


This is a bit more cheerful.

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