Waking up to an annoying text message is bothersome; waking up feeling like complete and utter allergy ass is terrible; waking up knowing I can’t call in sick because I have a day of meetings is just plain unfortunate. It was an overcast day, rain constantly threatened to spill over the clouds, and my eyes felt the same way. In a moment of weakness I posted this status on Facebook:
I know we need the rain, I KNOW that, but damn, it makes me feel just horrible. I want to go home, go to bed, and have someone spoon me for hours on end, and whisper how much s/he loves me. Sigh.
My mercurial moods can be just as baffling to me as I am sure they are to everyone else. I’m up, I’m down; I’m pink and light and bubbles; I’m grey and dismal and choppy. It can be a bit exhausting.
All week long I’ve been looking forward to this evening for movies in the park. The Hudsucker Proxy! You know, for kids! But that motherfucking threatening rain got the city all scared, and they canceled it. Here’s to hoping the weather is more cooperative next Wednesday. Then it can be viewed as a post-birthday movie, and I really love this movie, and I love being outside, so if I must find a positive side, that would be it.
Last night, at The Parlor, my ladies and I agreed to do fun things this summer, like camping IF a cabin was involved. I don’t camp. It’s a rule. Like how no one should call me before 10am, and how incest jokes are never amusing. Since we adore each other so much, we went past musing about lazy summer days splashing in a lake and reading to each other in the shade while sipping our beverage of choice, we thought bigger, better, and are now thinking of saving up for a summer 2012 trip to some exotic location like Greece or Barcelona or Rio, where more splashing, reading and drinking can take place, just sexier due to the power of a foreign locale. We are all a bit poor, so yes, that wasn’t a typo when I typed 2012. For the short term, we’re thinking maybe tubing for Memorial Day. I’m sure the three of us can manage to make that pretty damn sexy.
Yesterday I had the pleasure of visiting a new bathroom. It wasn’t as cool as visiting the Google bathroom, but the handle is “coated to protect against germs!” It’s coated with green! What I disliked about this fancy toilet is it is harder to flush with my foot when I only want to flush one drop instead of three droplets. Flushing down is way easier than flushing up especially if one has zero interest in bracing herself against the stall walls. However, since I am concerned about the environment and remain committed to conserving water when and where I can (please don’t bother bringing up those 30-minute showers I take, I will just ignore you), I managed to hike my leg up and karate kick that mother up instead of down.
Wikus: What am I, some kind of party planner?
Grumples: that's what your business card says, yes
Wikus: Damn, I need to change those.
Grumples: they are a bit boring
Grumples: you should jazz them up
Grumples: put a pic of you and shamu on it
Grumples: offer some free shamu cheese with every order
Wikus: Shamu doesn't like pictures. He always bites the camera.
Grumples: shamu needs to learn some manners
Wikus: Good luck telling him that.
Grumples: are you kidding me? and risk amputation from shamu bite?
Wikus: He'll only bite you if you smell like seal meat, or if you have a camera.
Grumples: my phone is a camera
Wikus: Or if you're on the rag, because apparently that smells like seal meat to him.
Grumples: he's always trying to take some toes away from me
Wikus: He doesn't have any toes, so he doesn't think you should either.
Grumples: that's because my tampon is made from seal meat
Wikus: That doesn't sound very absorbent, nor very sterile.
Grumples: but it feels so good
Wikus: Could be an asset as well, if you fancy Eskimo men.
Grumples: who doesn't?
1 comment:
Phhhttt...that's just a minor detail, Torms.
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