My super-secret roach-killing machine was Clementine! However, I am not aware of her actually doing any slaying during her 24-hour stay at Camp Grumples (sister camp to Camp Guam where all the doggies in town go to stay). She took some flying leaps off of the coffee table on to The Bear’s back, which caused him significant displeasure, and loads of giggles from me. She slept under my chin, on my chest and in my hand. She bit and clawed at me in the most adorable, mostly harmless way; she hung off of my arm by her teeth, and grabbed my toes every chance she had; she performed sneaky attacks from underneath pillows, and courageously climbed the ribbon belts hanging off of my dresses in the closet. She’s perfect in every way. Even The Bear tolerated her—sat in the same chair with her! (That is really only to his own detriment, since it’s only my current financial situation that is keeping me from running out and getting a kitten for the second Memorial holiday weekend in a row.)
Last night, as CSP was breaking my heart and getting ready to take her away from me, we discovered that she had attempted to abscond with The Bear’s catnip toys. She had stowed them in her carrier, which was discovered at the same time we realized she had been using her carrier as a litterbox (oops).
This morning, The Bear seems to be under the impression that the lack of kitten in the house is because he must have eaten her, and doesn’t remember it since he got really high sniffing a fabulous pork taco I ate last night. Wikus doesn’t believe me that a cat can get high off of sniffing a pork taco, but I’m pretty sure that is exactly what happened. The Bear fell over, lazed on his side like the beached whale that he is, and stared cross-eyed at the ceiling for an inappropriate length of time. That is stoned. I think we can all agree to that.
The best thing said to me so far today comes from Dirty Boy (DB):
yeah the european deluxe sausage kitchen in beverly hills
Living in LA must be so much fun at times! Though, since I now live alone, I’m sure I can open up a sausage kitchen right here in my own home. I’m taking applications now. Please indicate length and girth. The short essay discussing your skills and how they will be applied in relation to me should be checked over for spelling and grammatical errors, because I will still need to respect you regardless of how technically proficient you are in other areas.
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