The Trash Project

Another rainy day. I believe I crushed a snail on my way out the door to see the Trash Project. It sounded like the Boy took two out by accident. Sorry snails!

Ways I Would Have Enjoyed The Trash Project More:

1) Not being outside, standing in the rain.

2) Having enough seating for the 1257 people (all with overly large umbrellas) showing up with their little brats in tow.

3) If people actually understood what it means when an organizer tells them to "Stand behind the yellow cones."

4) A basic understanding of umbrellas, water and gravity, and how it may affect the person standing next to you.

5) Not staring in to stage lights due to standing at the edge of the performance field because someone vastly misjudged how many people would be in attendance.

6) Severe nyctalopia that was only exacerbated by staring in to the stage lights.

7) If that Little Person hadn't kept bumping in to my hip every three seconds to gain a better view. If I was under 4' tall, I would have gotten there at least 3 hours early.

8) Please, someone, turn up the damn volume--don't advertise some Graham Reynolds and then only play it loud enough for people within one feet of the speakers to hear it.

9) Give me some Texans who know that it is impolite to chatter and answer cell phones during a performance. This is art people, not your fucking backyard bbq party.

10) A hot dog with a very light layer of mustard would have been nice. Maybe some cotton candy or funnel cake. Sawdust on the ground would have added an amusing touch.

11) Some police presence to help people cross a busy road with no crosswalks or lights. Or at least to shoot the assholes who were speeding by in the rain at 60mph.

12) Not having snot bombs dropping down my throat every few seconds and choking me. Damn allergies. Damn rain and the mold. I feel I would have been more positive about the whole experience if I didn't feel like taking my eyeballs out and stamping on them, or having some kind of snot abortion of both my sinuses and lungs.

The Trash Project was really awesome in concept, and I'm sure in execution, but I really had a negative attitude due to the above 12 items. In general, my baseline attitude is negative. However, it was greatly improved later in the evening when I chatted with two lovely ladies about abortions, bikini waxes, pubic hair growing on the thighs, why we have pubic hair in the first place, 3" heels versus 4" heels, pedicures, sexy legs, and staying positive during an extended job search.

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An important fact: "Mucus" is a noun. "Mucous" is an adjective. Please learn the difference when writing about mucus/mucous. Thank you.