Elevator Etiquette

Today is my one-year anniversary at work. There were no balloons or cake. Not even a card. For the most part, I wasn't even acknowledged for the majority of the day. That was so nice. Gave me even more time to read my boss' trashy chick-lit novel. Best line of the day? "Dating was a jungle too scary for me to safari through." I don't think I could even make up something that terrible.

A year ago today, I was in "orientation." It was 2.5 days long, and very very painful. A lot of group activities with people I would never see again. I don't even want to think back to it. However, there was some guy there who ended up working in the same building as me. I did not pay much attention to him at the time, but we run in to each other every few weeks in the building. The problem is he knows my name, but I don't know his. He's always shouting out my name when he sees me, and I responded in a kind of "Ho ho ho, there, guy!" Basically I have to be a total self-centered card.

The other day, I was taking the elevator from the 3rd to the 8th floor. While I waiting, two people waited with me. One guy seemed to be German and a visitor to the building, and was chatting with some woman, whom I had seen before either. That is pretty normal around there. When the elevator arrived it was already full of people, but they insisted the three of us joining them. One of the guys on there was my dear nameless orientation buddy (NOB). We exchanged an informal head nod. While the elevator doors were closing, NOB said kind of frantically and indignantly to the German guy, "Dude, you're totally standing in my personal space! Shouldn't I have at least 3' around me. I'm not kidding!" I thought that was totally weird considering it was an elevator after all. Perhaps he was in disagreement with the others who invited us to join the group. I was in the very front of the elevator, almost smashed against the doors (being very careful to not touch anyone at all, for I, too, have personal space issues). However, after NOB said what he did, I just looked at him, and then slowly started side-stepping, sidling!, over until I hit right up against him. The German totally guffawed and said, "She's funny! She's so funny!" He kept saying it as he got off the elevator with his companion. Imagine, just invading someone's space totally makes German people laugh! NOB shouted out after him, how one could always count on me to provide the fun.

I should have farted as a parting gift to all of them.