When I was 15, my mom told me to get in the car, and she drove me to a Planned Parenthood in Dallas. It was in an office park, and the decor was bland, like some mid-level motel--all beige and adult contemporary. I was sexually active; my mother and I had not discussed one word about it. Yet, she knew enough to drag my ass in for a pap smear and STD testing. And there we sat. I don't remember anyone else in that room--I was so narrowly focused on my anxiety, and thinking "How can she possibly fucking know?!" My body vibrated with nerves, and I still remember the near-impossible task of completing the forms. Those questions that were asked! How could I answer them at all, much less with my mother right next to me, probably reading over my shoulder? Man, I still feel sick to my stomach thinking about it. Imagine what a shy, nervous 15-year-old girl thought when she read, "Have you had anal sex?" Oh. My. God. People were going to read that form! Jesus.
After that, I pretty much blacked out the rest. It was my first pap smear. My first time having sex was less anxiety-inducing than having to scoot my naked ass to the end of a table, and being told to relax my legs as some old man breathed noisily between my thighs. It felt abusive, but I know it wasn't. Just standard gynecological procedure. I'm sure it was over very quickly. I was given a prescription for oral contraceptive, and my mother and I were sent on our way.
As scary as that experience was for me, I was always grateful for the existence of Planned Parenthood. Over the next 12 years or so, I went to them for my annual physical and birth-control needs. I can also thank them for free HIV testing. I did not have steady medical insurance until my late 20s--none of my friends did. We had no idea how else to maintain good vaginal health other than visit PP.
Every time I hear about the proposed federal cuts, in fact complete stripping, to Planned Parenthood, I want to go cut someone really deep and leave them bleeding on the side of the road. My life has not remotely been what one calls easy, but having access to PP definitely made my life what it is now, which is pretty darn easy: disease- and child-free. Without having access to birth control and pap smears, I would probably have had several abortions and many raging diseases before I was 22. I was not a smart kid when it came to sex--I was passionate, eager and didn't know how to stand up for myself. I had a lot of sex without condoms. A LOT. I know I wasn't the only lady out there keeping her mouth shut when it came to asking to wrap it up (mostly out of fear of rejection).
Thus, there was all this awesome sex, having our crushes, breaking hearts and having our hearts broken, and there were a zillion chances to get pregnant, and even more to be passing around god knows what. Yet, we were able to go to PP and get our birth control and meds. Did PP encourage me to have sex? Heck, no. In fact, it always felt a bit embarrassing to go in there and list how many partners I had had in the last year, and they often frowned and condescended toward me when I was frank about my sexual habits. They were there to keep me alive and free of unwanted babies, and they did that job well.
Do you know what most Planned Parenthood do not provide? An abortion. They could give you a reference to a private clinic, but most of them did not have the resources to actually provide such a procedure. They provided the same services that your "normal" gynecologist provided. Also, PP was never free. There was a sliding scale, and I always had to pay something for the privilege of having my cervix poked, and $10-$20 for a pack of pills per month (that's a crapload of money for someone making $8/hr). I have been working since I was 15, and so I was able to pay for all of this, for the luxury of my easy ways.
I don't think attitudes have changed all that much for teenagers. There's a lot of talk about using condoms or not having sex at all, but it is just talk. In the moment, when the sex is imminent, there is no talking (other than maybe some goofy pillow talk), just doing. I very much fear that these federal cuts will shutter most, if not all, of these types of clinics, and it won't just be abortion rates that will soar, but women's medical health in general will suffer a devastating blow. Even if you put the abortion issue aside (which I'm loathe to do, because it is an important issue to me, and more importantly, PP has not been able to use federal money for abortions in years upon years), Planned Parenthood is about access to being a healthy woman for those who do not have affordable health care. Why would we want to take that away? Seriously. This is going to devolve in to something akin to my union rant: the need for Planned Parenthood is so obvious (to me).
I'm very lucky to have a job right now that provides excellent medical insurance. I pay a $20 premium once a year for a well-woman exam. Before I got a tubal ligation this past summer, I paid $30 a month for birth control. That is a pretty damn good deal. Without my job, I would have easily paid $1000 a year for my pap and monthly birth control. I may not always have such benefits; I may not always have a job. I am in a privileged class of people right now. Having a job and having benefits is almost rare right now. I don't even want to think what life would be like without those two things, and just think I could be jobless, benefit-less and have nowhere to turn for the most basic women's health care. That is just horrifyingly sad.
Please help take a stand against this outrage to women's health. Go to Planned Parenthood's website, and help spread the word: http://www.ppaction.org/IStandWithPP.
After that, I pretty much blacked out the rest. It was my first pap smear. My first time having sex was less anxiety-inducing than having to scoot my naked ass to the end of a table, and being told to relax my legs as some old man breathed noisily between my thighs. It felt abusive, but I know it wasn't. Just standard gynecological procedure. I'm sure it was over very quickly. I was given a prescription for oral contraceptive, and my mother and I were sent on our way.
As scary as that experience was for me, I was always grateful for the existence of Planned Parenthood. Over the next 12 years or so, I went to them for my annual physical and birth-control needs. I can also thank them for free HIV testing. I did not have steady medical insurance until my late 20s--none of my friends did. We had no idea how else to maintain good vaginal health other than visit PP.
Every time I hear about the proposed federal cuts, in fact complete stripping, to Planned Parenthood, I want to go cut someone really deep and leave them bleeding on the side of the road. My life has not remotely been what one calls easy, but having access to PP definitely made my life what it is now, which is pretty darn easy: disease- and child-free. Without having access to birth control and pap smears, I would probably have had several abortions and many raging diseases before I was 22. I was not a smart kid when it came to sex--I was passionate, eager and didn't know how to stand up for myself. I had a lot of sex without condoms. A LOT. I know I wasn't the only lady out there keeping her mouth shut when it came to asking to wrap it up (mostly out of fear of rejection).
Thus, there was all this awesome sex, having our crushes, breaking hearts and having our hearts broken, and there were a zillion chances to get pregnant, and even more to be passing around god knows what. Yet, we were able to go to PP and get our birth control and meds. Did PP encourage me to have sex? Heck, no. In fact, it always felt a bit embarrassing to go in there and list how many partners I had had in the last year, and they often frowned and condescended toward me when I was frank about my sexual habits. They were there to keep me alive and free of unwanted babies, and they did that job well.
Do you know what most Planned Parenthood do not provide? An abortion. They could give you a reference to a private clinic, but most of them did not have the resources to actually provide such a procedure. They provided the same services that your "normal" gynecologist provided. Also, PP was never free. There was a sliding scale, and I always had to pay something for the privilege of having my cervix poked, and $10-$20 for a pack of pills per month (that's a crapload of money for someone making $8/hr). I have been working since I was 15, and so I was able to pay for all of this, for the luxury of my easy ways.
I don't think attitudes have changed all that much for teenagers. There's a lot of talk about using condoms or not having sex at all, but it is just talk. In the moment, when the sex is imminent, there is no talking (other than maybe some goofy pillow talk), just doing. I very much fear that these federal cuts will shutter most, if not all, of these types of clinics, and it won't just be abortion rates that will soar, but women's medical health in general will suffer a devastating blow. Even if you put the abortion issue aside (which I'm loathe to do, because it is an important issue to me, and more importantly, PP has not been able to use federal money for abortions in years upon years), Planned Parenthood is about access to being a healthy woman for those who do not have affordable health care. Why would we want to take that away? Seriously. This is going to devolve in to something akin to my union rant: the need for Planned Parenthood is so obvious (to me).
I'm very lucky to have a job right now that provides excellent medical insurance. I pay a $20 premium once a year for a well-woman exam. Before I got a tubal ligation this past summer, I paid $30 a month for birth control. That is a pretty damn good deal. Without my job, I would have easily paid $1000 a year for my pap and monthly birth control. I may not always have such benefits; I may not always have a job. I am in a privileged class of people right now. Having a job and having benefits is almost rare right now. I don't even want to think what life would be like without those two things, and just think I could be jobless, benefit-less and have nowhere to turn for the most basic women's health care. That is just horrifyingly sad.
Please help take a stand against this outrage to women's health. Go to Planned Parenthood's website, and help spread the word: http://www.ppaction.org/IStandWithPP.
1 comment:
I'm organizing a fundraiser for PP of Capitol Region -- I'll let you know the details when I have them Should be fun. ;-)
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