A Weekend of Shenanigans

Wikus has a guest in town for SXSW.  He's an old friend of ours from college.  Wikus lived with him several times throughout the last decade plus; me, only a few months (where The Orange Lover often wandered out in to the apartment complex at large when certain drunken roommates came home and didn't shut the door behind them.  You know who you are.).  I feel he should be called Esquire (Esq.).  Seeing as he has obviously worked harder to do something with his life than the rest of us (excluding The Boy, who has probably worked harder). 

With Esquire in town, Wikus was practically giddy with excitement.  Wikus rarely gets giddy.  Maybe only over little baby animals (he's a softy like that).  When I was driving circles around the airport, Esquire called to say his plane had landed, and some alien took over Wikus body in the backseat.  There were giggles and funny voices.  If my car was a bouncy-house, Wikus would be doing flips in the air.  The Boy and I must not be providing Wikus enough love.

We went and stuffed ourselves crazy with some Southern comfort food, and dropped Wikus and Esquire off at Wikus' apartment--The Boy and I feeling sleepy went home and took naps.  Such hard work it is to drive to the airport and eat fried green tomatoes!  Later that evening we when to Argyle's art show.  She is such an amazingly talented person, and sadly I brought a seriously drunken Wikus with me.  Esquire was doing pretty good, and kept an eye on Wikus, but my god was he drunk.  His attention was held by a small dog with a serious under-bite for most of the evening, allowing The Boy and I to socialize with friends and look at the art.  We even bid on one of Argyle's pieces; though, I have no idea if we won or not.  We probably need to check on that.  She did two prints that featured The Boy's two bands, and one of our imaginary band, The Gay Friendlies.  We should get artist copies of those. 

Here are some things that came out of Wikus' mouth while we were driving him to and from the show:

• Bacon cheeseburgers should grow on trees!
• (Never mind the fact that he spent most of his 20s as a vegan, and his 30s as a vegetarian)

• The Bacon Cheeseburger Tree is actually the Tree of Knowledge.
• It is Daylight Saving Time.  Daylight Savings Time is a bank.
• "Whooooooooooooooo-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa," wailing like a ghostly woman (he did this a lot).
• That owl [a nice sticker on someone's gas tank] has a ghost tail.
• Maybe I should go to bed now.

There was a lot more, but thankfully I have forgotten most of it.  He was very belligerent, in that every time I said something like, "okay," he'd say, "How dare you question me?"  Wikus is a strange and funny drunk.  Esquire just kept exchanging looks with me that said, "Should we dump him at the college and let him take his angst out on some frat boys?"

Here was our first exchange Sunday morning:

Wikus:         hello
Grumples:    how are you?
Wikus:         Sub-spectacular, I think someone put something in that last drink I had.
Grumples:    oh, no!  were  you rufied?
Wikus:         No, it's that other drug that just makes your head and stomach a bit angry.
Grumples:    oh, i think that is called alcohol
Grumples:    and i believe it was in many of your drinks
Wikus:         Yes, that's the one.

He wasn't up for much yesterday, but that didn't stop me from dragging him and Esquire to Target (him for short pants that he neglected to bring and other toiletries; me for a new watch band, which I obtained and bought some rockin' new shades that are huge rounded squares of turquoise), then to the best meat in town (where Wikus sat on a rusty chair looking like he may puke in a cactus basket at any second), then grabbing The Boy and heading to a kite festival.  This involved walking about 1.5 miles and wandering around trying to find our friends. Once found, Wikus and Esquire plopped down on our blanket and stayed put for the next 3 hours. 

The rest of the gang talked, ate, flew kites, played Twister, nuzzled with dogs, etc.  It was a truly fun day, and the weather finally cooperated: warm breeze and in the low 80s.  I really couldn't have asked for a better Sunday. 

We finally left because The Boy being the more responsible of the two of us (snort), reminded me that we have a diabetic cat who was due for his insulin shot.  Trudged the 1.5 miles back to the car, and we all agreed to go home and see if Netflix streams Carrie since Esquire nor The Boy had seen it.  We were in luck--the red couch was pulled up to the other couch and we spent a lovely two hours resting.  Then I packed Wikus and Esquire in to the car and dragged them home.  Damn Daylight Saving (it's-not-a-bank) Time really had me tired (that and being engorged on sun and happiness), sent me to the shower and off to bed to read.

I am not attending SXSW until noon Wednesday.  Until then, it's me and a mostly empty office.  Twit is here (just burped at my desk and didn't say excuse me and totally left a nasty smell in her wake), and I had to remind her of my two half-days and full day off, so she better get crackin' on writing her procedures to her job.  Her last day before maternity leave is this Friday.  Yay to better days ahead!