Bob McDonnell Needs a Nation's Worth of Feet Up His Ass

At some point in my childhood, I was given a Zuni fetish necklace.  It was so delicate with its silver beads and purple birds.  I recall putting it in my mouth a lot.  I loved the feel of those little stone birds (they had a pearlized luminescence) against my teeth and tongue.  I had it in my mouth so much, I eventually broke one of the birds, and then eventually the string broke.  I have thought about this necklace for almost twenty decades.  This past weekend I was surfing around on various sites, and it dawned on me to search for a replica of my childhood jewelry.  I found a strand for under $20 on Ebay, and it came in the mail today.  Hooray!  It has the same kind of pearlized stones but in many different colors, and it's not just birds, but also some bears.  It's a bit long for my taste, and I worry I'll crack the fetishes with my bag or the seatbelt.

Obviously, I don't think this is an authentic fetish, but damn, it's almost exactly what I have been yearning for all these years.

Ends up, I have purchased a really nice cat toy.  At least when I'm trying to take pictures of the necklace on the floor.  Every time I finally got the necklace posed, a cat's paw would come in and snatch it away. I had this:

A second later, this:

That rascally son of a bitch.  Silly Mattress.

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I'm eating some dinner while posting.  The Boy is really awesome and provides me with dinner almost every night.  He just played a dirty trick on me and fed me ET's turnip greens when I was expecting baby spinach.  I'm surprised I didn't vomit all over the front of myself.  He totally just tried to poison me.  I'm eating some Amy's pizza as an antidote.

Speaking of vomit, can you believe, no, really fucking believe that the governor of Virginia has declared April "Confederate History Month."  As I told Fink-Nottle, I would seriously like to smash Bob McDonnell's face in my own barf.   I am so appalled, yet not surprised.  We have a black man as president for the first time ever, and this is what he gets.  I want to yank that disgusting man's balls off and shit on them and shove them in his stupid racist mouth.  If you aren't already vomiting in your own hand right now, you will--the motherfucker doesn't even bother to mention the slaves.  I shit you not.  Guess they aren't important enough to remember.  I don't think I can write much more about it right now since I'm obviously too emotional to deal with such a heinous declaration.
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Due to  school holidays and a work-related day of training, I haven't seen my 6th-grade lit kids in 3 weeks.  Can I just tell you that I suddenly found myself a sucker for hugs from children?  Oh man, it was so fucking gratifying that they missed me.  All those weeks of frustration where they goofed off and had no interest in reading melted away.  I have actually made an impression on them.  Then I gave them presents to make them love me more.  Maybe I do have this mothering thing down.  Ha.  Before you comment on that, I should mention that part of our session today was coming up with our new motto, "Don't do dumb things at school!"  Dumb being drink alcohol, smoke weed, etc.  Thus implying that you may do dumb things outside of school, but you are an idiot if you do them on school property.  Sadly, two of my girls were already suspended this year--busted drinking beer in the gym locker room.  This was a good example of doing something dumb at school.  It's nice when one can use real-life examples.

Sixth graders drinking beer at school.  Makes me feel very very old.  In sixth grade I was still worried about getting my period and wishing I could brag about kissing boys.  Sigh.