31 October 2010

Damn Ungrateful Kittens

Best keyword search phrase for October, "jewelry strangulation" & "babies." My first short-story collection will totally be called that.  Or, my next NaNoWriMo book.

That reminds me.  I have decided not to do NaNoWriMo this year.  It seems too overwhelming for me right now.  I must spend the next 10 days really concentrating on the mosaic and nothing else.  Then a much deserved break where I will do nothing at all but stare at the television, and possibly drool on myself.  That's pretty much my plan through the end of the year. 
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Last night, after deeply cutting my finger and bleeding all over the mosaic, I wondered if instead of crying on the dollars people send me when I lie to them, that I could just bleed on the dollars instead (for no reason at all!).  CSP thought there might be some takers on such an offer, and that it would even be fair for me to ask for $2, and only send one bloody dollar back.  I asked if he'd want one, a little Halloween gift, but he did not respond.  Does that mean he wants one and he's just being coy?

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A while ago, I mentioned one of the best things that happened this year was Frijole's visit in August.  While still true, there was an equally awesome best thing (a tie!) when Ivy Vyne swung through in late May.  Remember how we almost died?  And her visit eventually sparked the knitted fish taco.  How I could have neglected to mention her before, was a gross mistake on my part. I apologize, and hopes she will forgive me, so that we can attempt to do a better job at not dying the next time we go tubing.  In November, I expect to have a three-way tie of awesome friend adventures, when I get to see a very dear friend of mine. It'll be a fantasy come true.  That is how magical it is. 

There have been times this year, where I've been so dejected, sad, feeling like no one likes me as much as I like them (self-pitying insecurity is so lame), but how can any of that be true?  How can I feel that way when I have such wonderful people in my life?  Especially ones who will take vacations just to see me!  What exactly is my problem?  Stupid brain can really fuck up seeing reality correctly. 

Maybe it is because the kittens still love The Boy way more than me.  Maybe that is my problem.

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