Bananas

Today there is snow in Texas. And I DON'T CARE ONE BIT. I have lived in Boston and Anchorage--I would be very happy to never see snow again. Sure, a lot of people are happy to see snow, but this isn't snow. This is more like a brief interlude of white dust. Which means I don't totally hate it, but it does mean it is cold out, and that makes me quite angry. See me shaking my first at the cold air?

If I hear anyone say a sentimental sentence regarding snow and the holidays, I can't be held accountable for what may happen next. Whether it is my foot or fist in your mouth, just consider yourself warned. This is Texas, cut it out with all those fake-nostalgic feelings of what December is supposed to be like to have a nice holiday. Morons. If you've lived in an actual snowy climate during December, then I doubt you think of snow as fondly. Or you may. But if you've always lived in parts of Texas that don't regularly get any kind of snow that actually sticks to the ground, then shut up. You don't even know what you are reminiscing about.

Oh, bananas. I really didn't mean to get all caught up on weather issues. I just ate a semi-green banana I bought at the store last night (that was packed due to the WINTER STORM '09, and infested with sorority girls in sweatshirts with sweatpants tucked in to Ugg boots). I love bananas, but have a hard time finding the right banana. I am totally squeamish of ripe bananas. My mom used to make me eat bruised bananas, and I still gag at the thought. I only buy green ones, and stick them in the fridge (separating them first) to ripen slowly. However, today I was hungry for a banana, and this banana was still too green. It tasted okay, but left the worst fuzz on my teeth. Nothing can get that off except a toothbrush.

I am not the kind of gal who brings a toothbrush to work. I drank a Coke in hopes that the fizz will combat the fuzz.

How do you feel about bananas?

PS: Twit just said something like, "Is there not enough snow out there to make ice cream?" What the fuck is wrong with her? What does that even mean? Does she not understand how ice cream is made? Even Snoopy Sno-Cone was made with shaved ice bitch, and no one called it ice cream.