The One Time He Gave the Finger

There is a very dear man here at work. He is the sweetest guy and has such a charming accent. He is from Nepal and has been in the U.S. for 30+ years. He is always making jokes (consisting mainly of puns). Both he and his wife are middle children of large families, and are both 5'1", the shortest in both families. How adorable is that?

He was just by my desk, and saw that I was reading, "The Devil's Poison: How Fluoride is Killing You," which quickly made me comment I'm just perusing it for the hilarity of it, since I in no way feel that fluoride is killing anyone--or at least drinking water from regulated sources (no, if you feel like taking fluoride in large doses, then yes, enjoy your painful death). Wanting to prove that I really do have better things to read, I pulled out the book in my bag, "Traffic: Why We Drive the Way We Do (and What It Says About Us)." It is by far more interesting that the fluoride book.

This led my friend to tell me a story (he has so many, so it doesn't take much to set him off on one):

In 1983, he was newly married and his wife came over from Nepal to join him in Texas. She had never driven a car before, and he taught her to drive by picking her up after work from the local community college that she was attending, and have her drive them home. It was a pretty long ride if staying off the highway. She was a very cautious driver (read that to mean SLOW). One day, she was driving in the right-hand lane and going ever so slow, that a whole slew of cars got backed up behind them, but she was determined to keep her speed. By the time they were almost home, there was one particular car that kept flashing its brights and honking at her. She was in the left-hand lane preparing for the left turn on to her street. My friend was so impatient with the whole situation, with his wife's inability to go any faster than a slow creep that asked for them to be cruelly run down, and the asshole behind them who refused to pass on the right. So he gave the car behind them the finger. A very aggressive finger. The one and only time he has ever given someone the finger (I believe this, he is so kind and gentle).

Immediately after displaying his anger, the blue-and-reds of a cop car came on behind him. Yes, this poor man had flipped off a cop. His wife, who didn't speak English yet, and didn't know what "giving the finger" even meant, was very upset and confused. My friend had her pull over to the right (which was very difficult due to the rush-hour traffic). Then they both sat there listening to the cop give them an earful about how you should never ever give anyone the finger. EVER. Got it? He let them go with a warning. Too bad his wife didn't understand one word that was said!

Let that be a lesson to all of you little birdies.