I Heart Words

The Boy posted the greatest link on my FB page tonight. He is a boy who knows me well. I immediately shared it with Fink-Nottle and Wikus. Fink-Nottle is practically crapping his pants in glee, and I don't know what happened to Wikus. Seems to have dropped off the net--probably playing with this synthesizer he built. He's handy and gets easily distracted. Oh, there he is, wondering how the heck someone puts an "a" in "definitely." He has been away from Texas too long--this is relatively easy to do when you hear how people say "definitely" around here. Def-un-nate-ly.

What's even more awesome about that link is that you, yes you, can buy it as a poster. I'm trying to figure out how long I could have it up at work before I am asked to take it down due to its offensive nature. Though, my boss talks about her hemorrhoids all the time, so I don't think that will be an issue. If I can't have it at work, I can certainly find a place for it at home. You just can't go wrong having an educational poster that is fucking hilarious. It teaches as you laugh. Genius.

Now, the problem is, this poster is missing a very important word. It goes with "definitely" having no "a" in it. I have heard it almost daily for the past decade (the length of time I have been in Texas). I have heard extremely intelligent people say it, and of course it comes as no surprise that Twit says it.

I want to make it very clear: Height does not end in an "h." Please stop saying heighTH. It makes me violent. Blood starts running out my ears each time I hear someone say it. That is very unpleasant and stains my shirts. Which also tends to make me violence. There is no way out of it. I am going to be violent. The bigger problem is I think a lot of these people do not even realize they are doing it, because they spell it correctly. Is it a habit from hearing it said incorrectly so often? Like how I started saying "greazy" as a joke, but then really started saying it by accident? So far I can still say "crick" in jest, while still being able to reference a "creek" when necessary. No matter. Please just don't say heighth around me. Grrrr.