Grumple's Panty-Dropping Blog

Hung out with Wikus after work.  He wanted his sunblock back that he had left in the backseat of my car (I swear he was using it for the boat party--or, at least that is what he claims).  While there I sang Happy Birthday to Whoopis' sister (of course I sang it to Whoopis, as well, when I got home), and tiptoed around trying to get a glimpse of his other beasty.  No such luck there.  She's so pretty but I never get to see her.

Wikus entertained me, and told me how at work today they made a banner that said, "Uncle Buck's Panty-Droppin' Chili."  Since I am not really that familiar with the phrase "panty-dropping" (or the charming accented "panty-droppin'"), he had to explain to me what its usual context is.  Once I was enlightened, I asked an obvious question, "What the fuck could possibly be panty-dropping about chili?  Does that mean you crap your pants while eating it?  Because I don't understand how it could be used in a sexy sense."  Wikus agreed.  We then laughed a bit.  Then, because I am completely maniacal these days, I looked up Uncle Buck's (Wikus gave an east coast state for a reference point--otherwise I would have just gotten a lot of Uncle Buck the movie hits [which, incidentally, is one of Wikus' favorite movies]), and I found one restaurant in that whole state called Uncle Buck's.  Naturally I called and asked them about their panty-dropping chili.  The lady who answered the phone kept asking me to repeat myself.  Each time I repeated myself I said it louder and slower.  Wikus was impressed that I kept a straight face through the whole thing.  I'm 35 years old and making prank phone calls.  She finally told me they have rattlesnake stew, which is what they call their chili.  She either willfully ignored me or her brain could not wrap around the fact that I was actually saying panty-dropping, but she refused to address if the chili would in fact make my panties drop.
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At the end of every month, I check my blog's stats.  The only thing I truly pay attention to is the the keyword searches that landed people on my site.  I found August's words particularly amusing.  Highlights being:

• dolphin sperm
• drilling expressions
• hard long pinch or bruises or bruise "with my * toes"
• inappropriate facial expressions
• picture richard the service monkey
• stop pigs blood congealing
• truth be told discovery health monkey
• zombie dildo

This blog is nine days short of being a year old.  Those keyword searches make me damn proud of my baby.  Why do you think someone was searching "stop pigs blood congealing."  Obviously the person doesn't have a hemophiliac pig. Maybe worried about a porcine stroke?  And yes, if someone discovers a health monkey, may I have one, too?