Kitten Sausage: A Nutritious Treat

ET Update: He no longer has to wear his bandage!  His x-ray this week showed he still has a bit of blockage in his colon, but it has moved way down the pipe.  The Boy tells me that ET enjoyed a nice poo today.  I will give him some hay-lettuce slurry as an award tonight (ET that is, not The Boy, because The Boy prefers fruit slurries with protein powder; he's not so much in to the hay).

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My brain has been a bit frazzled this week (which was not helped by me puking in the shower yesterday morning), thus my writing has suffered incredibly.  There is a huge portion of my body that just wants to go cuddle with some kittens in bed instead.  Damn those kittens for being so cute.  Their heads could so easily fit in to my mouth.  Nom nom.

Much interest was expressed regarding my voluntary-sterilization post.  All positive since everyone who reads this here blog is obviously highly intelligent.  There were some questions, which I am going to attempt to address without falling asleep and possibly wetting myself due to mental fatigue (everyone pees themselves when they are really tired, right?  RIGHT?).

Even though it is 2010 and voluntary sterilization is a hugely popular birth-control method, it is still extremely difficult to have the procedure if one is young, single and has no children.  Us poor women just don't know our own minds and need other people telling us what we're really thinking way down deep inside us--that place that holds all our true intentions regarding babies.  Our deep dark sticky baby pocket that can only be tapped by others.  It is great that other people know me better than myself because it has really saved me from all those foolish things I would have done left to my own devices.  So, sadly, yes, only a certain class of women can easily obtain sterilization. 

There are plenty of reasons why this is the case, though none of them really valid considering how willy-nilly people make babies with no interference from others.  It is funny that not making a baby is seen as this horrendous crime against nature and especially against women.  My desire to be childless actually offends people.  Like I am thumbing my nose at the ONE thing I am supposed to do as a woman.  Beyond that, there is the litigious issue.  For those dumbasses who do get sterilized then change their minds, they sue.  It's that whole idea of personal responsibility that people loathe.  Since I enjoy beating myself up, I usually don't have that problem.  I readily accept blame when I have done something so obviously stupid.  I am really not like the majority of people.  Therefore, doctors get blamed for a patient's personal choice, and that ruins it for the rest of us. 

The worst fear, really, is that a sterilized woman will find herself deeply in love with someone who wants children, and she loves that person so much, she finds herself wanting children as well.  There is a general belief that all women who say they don't want children now, will ultimately change their minds--they just haven't met the right person yet.  It is patronizing and makes me want to crush a lot of brains.  I haven't wanted children ever.  I was not a child who dreamed of being married and raising a family.  I didn't like horses and I never played princess.  I drew a pretty good unicorn once, and loved filling a page with rainbows.  (This proves I was a girl!)  Babies were never part of any of my master plans (like being a marine biologist or an architect). 

As for types of sterilization, I was really hoping my doctor could help me decide that.  She was all about the Essure, which are these coils placed in the Fallopian tubes, which causes scaring and prevents pregnancy.  I'm not really that keen on having something foreign in my body.  My aunt had something left in her after surgery, and let's just say it didn't go well.  I'm sure this method works great for a lot of women, but it is still these two things hanging out in my body, and since I do not have a lucky star attached to my ass, I'd be that one person where the coil gets loose and travels around my inner cavity putting holes in all my organs leaving me septic and dying.  At least I will die without leaving a child behind (with medication, I can now see the bright side of things).

My friend RFS is a promoter of endometrial ablation.  To hear her talk, one would be surprised that she doesn't receive some sort of commission.  She really does make it sound like a great choice.  However, reading up on it leads me to think it may not be the best choice for me.  It is a contraindicated procedure for sterilization and is mostly used for women who experience extremely heavy periods.  Since its main purpose is not to prevent women from having rugrats, it is strongly advised that birth control still be employed.  Bleck.  No thanks.  I haven't checked yet, but there's a good chance my insurance wouldn't cover this procedure for sterilization purposes. 

My basic plan is to have it done.  How it is done is a bit secondary.  I want a laparoscopic procedure that goes through my abdomen and not my vagina.  Please, please, please do not insert anything through my cervix.  I have zero qualms about having tiny scars on my abdomen.  I know that sounds crazy since that is a visible scar versus a hiding one in my vag.  I don't care.  My lady parts have suffered enough for my lifetime, and I will not subject them to anything else. 

I meet with my doctor on the 17th to discuss options and set a date.  I will write more as I know more.


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Now I am hungry.  Where are those kitten sausages?