That Kitten Is Living Out My Dream

Just returned from an exciting trip to the bathroom.  I actually managed to wipe at myself (versus dab) and not shriek and pass out from the white lightning scalding my pink bits.  I am not in any way exaggerating the pain.  Damn you cyst.  I should have had you removed much earlier to avoid having a throbbing hole on my labia.  Bleck.  Life felt much better after I removed the stitches (what's that doctor?  Using a pair of non-sterilized scissors and unwashed hands is not an approved method of stitch removal?  I do apologize.), and as of today, I feel almost healed.  That was one rough week.

Today's amusement is brought to us courtesy of Twit who just can't figure out how FMLA works.  My HR lady is calling me to ask just how stupid is Twit, and if she was deprived of oxygen during birth.  I cannot attest to what happened during the birth of darling Twit, but I can say that her standard personality and IQ is of someone who has been through a brutal lobotomy.  It seems that Twit brought the pediatric FMLA forms to her primary doctor to complete on herself, and the primary FMLA forms for the pediatric forms for her pediatrician to complete, and she doesn't understand what the problem is.  She got so frustrated when it was being explained to her that she actually said that it was too much work for her to handle.  No FMLA for her!

Since I know all of you have been sitting around completely on edge with ragged fingernails and raw chewed-on cheeks, here are my top-5 strengths according to the Clifton Strengthsfinder Assessment.

1. Input
2. Achiever
3. Activator
4. Ideation
5. Strategic

When I read the descriptions for these, I seem completely schizophrenic, which probably just helps my boss with her case that I am completely crazy in a "good way" (she swears that it is in a good way, but I sometimes feel she is lying to me).  The Input and Ideation puzzle me in how they are strengths, since the book doesn't make them look like positive attributes.  Boiling me down to a nice concise paragraph would lead someone to think that I am inquisitive without reason and enjoy ideas even if there is no practical application for them.  Are they saying I can only handle the abstract?  The point of all of this is I am supposed to read this book, Now, Discover Your Strengths, and see how to put my strengths in to practice.  Presumably with my newly achieved Crucial Conversation skills.  I feel I need to make love with the couch a few thousand times before I commit to any of that.  Then, if all goes well, I'll be dead and will never have to worry about putting my strengths to use.

Have I mentioned how it always smells like baked beans in here?  It's as if that stupid talking dog from the Bush's baked-beans commercial is farting up a molasses shit storm in here.  I'm going to go ahead and say that this must be Twit's fault.

Sunday night Wikus came over and the three of us attempted to watch Saturday's Doctor Who, but my DVR is being a douche and is only will to playback recorded shows as if they are a badly scratched DVD.  For the last couple of weeks it was tolerable, now it isn't.  Thus leaving us without a planned activity!  This is horrific to me because what if the boys start talking about music in that tech-geek way they have?  I scanned through what was streaming on Netflix and discovered Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.  Oh how that did warm the boys frozen nerdy hearts. 

To prove that I am not making up how agonizing the boys can be when they talk shop, let me present you with what Wikus posted recently on FB (and yes, The Boy will be getting a beer):

Wikus:

Found the bad CEM3360 in the Prophet-600 on the second try and swapped it out for the new one. Listening to a 28-year-old circuit board groan as you pull IC's out of it is slightly nerve-wracking, but fortunately nothing cracked (that $8 Radio Shack chip-puller was a solid investment), and my wonky Poly-Mod problem is ...sorted!

P.S. If anyone understands any of this, I will buy you a beer (a really nerdy beer).

Wikus (more pedantry a short time later):

The Prophet-600 is an analog synth from 1982. The 3360 is a VCA (voltage-controlled amplifier) chip that controls the Poly-Mod amount. Poly-Mod is just an extra (in addition to the standard LFO) modulation section that lets you route the Filter Envelope or Oscillator B to modulate Osc A or the Filter cutoff.

That way you can achieve a pitch envelope, or audio-rate FM (which the LFO isn't fast enough to provide).

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To bring your brain back online, I give you P1!