05 July 2010

I Have Never Found Metal in My Arby's Curly Fries

Why is it that when ever I visit Walgreens, I have a different experience each time?  Today I got a raised eyebrow, and a, "I'm gonna have to see some I.D."  Damn, that sucks, because I stole these prescriptions from some psycho in front of your store just a minute ago, and was really hoping you could help me out here.  I promise to sell these drugs back to him, at an inflated price, of course.

My eyeballs itch and The Boy is laughing at me.  I'm going to throw some sand in his face the first chance I get.  Then I'll singe his eyelashes off just to show him that I am not to be trifled with, and that next time he better take my itchy eyes a little more seriously.  If he chooses to ignore my warning, I will  make sure his balls will itch to the point he wished he had the fortitude to cut them off with a shiny sharp knife.

For all you boys and girls with a yen for Glee and a major hard-on for Javier Bardem, he'll be guest starring next season.  Laroux74 gets all the good information in advance.  She blames Twitter for being the downfall of herself, as well as society.  It is a damn shame I can't play with her at least weekly.  I fear I took our time together for granted, and was probably way too drunk much of the time (do not misunderstand, so was she).  Laroux is one of the smartest, cleverest, adventurous people I know (she goes to see bands by herself, and is cooler for it--where as I'd be the lame crying girl in the corner).  Oh them memories.  The Jell-o shots.  Trying not to kill ourselves (and each other) as baristas (that woman can fake a smile like no one's business).  She's one sexy beast whom I only see ever few years.  Screw all you bitches who get to hang out with her on a regular basis.  At least I provided her real bbq.

Yes, that's all I got.  In addition to missing Laroux, I totally did not make it to the post office today to mail Meggles' package to her.  I did manage the grocery store (where some cute boys gave me the googly eyes when they saw my licence plate), a nap, and the ever-so-important PowerPoint presentation.  Now I just have to make sure I get up early to set-up the whole shebang at work before everyone shows up and witnesses me fumbling around and sputtering over why I can't get the network to connect or the projector won't talk with my boss' laptop (who will be out eating breakfast with some other executives, so I am going solo on this).  Blarg.

Three days of work this week, and maybe next.  Three days to the snipping of the Fallopian tubes.  Too bad I can't just sleep the next three days and read The Unnamed by Joshua Ferris.  Seriously, you should, too.
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Sadly, I did not make it out to Arby's today to grab my free Jr. Deluxe sandwich.   However, more importantly, someone found me using the keywords, "arbys complaints metal found in curly fries."  Damn, that is so fucking awesome.  I'm sure that poor bastard didn't get too far in his/her research on that matter by reading my blog.

1 comment:

chris tormey said...

the post office was closed today so dont feel bad