08 July 2010

Sterilization Here I Come

Wow, why did no one tell me about this Boston Med show?  People this is the shit I live for!  Ah, Mass General.  I do have some memories of you.  Like that time I got tested for every STD under the sun in a room that was ridiculously large, and I kept feeling like there should be bubbling colored potions in spherical glass containers, because it was so mad scientist!  It was stone and concrete and I didn't feel like I was in a hospital.  I can't even explain what the fuck that room was all about.  I just know the lady was really nice when she examined my bits and declared that most things were good but I did have some inflammation.  Antibiotics were distributed and she gave me a free tube of Vagisil (Damn antibiotics can really fuck with your pH balance). 

Speaking of Boston, DeLuca's on Charles & Beacon Street totally caught fire.  Four-alarm fire!  Seems likely to be related to faulty wiring.  That place has been there for over 100 years.  I have drunkenly PEED on their front stoop.  They made the tastiest muffins--huge and $1.  There was this cherry one that I still crave on a monthly basis even though I believe I had it in 1996.  That is how good it was.  I feel very sorry for the people who live above DeLuca's--the smoke damage, the water damage, the fucking displacement.  And no muffins!  No fast produce when they realize they are missing an ingredient in that fancy dinner they were making.  It's just so sad.

Two more hours to eat and drink as much as my tummy can hold.  Then nothing, not even water.  Though, I am allowed a very small sip of water to take my daily medications.  I take six pills and one of them is a huge-ass vitamin C pill.  One sip of water is not going to cut it.  We report to the surgery center at 8:30am, though I believe the surgery is two hours later.  They want me to dress in comfortable clothes, and I'm not sure what I am going to wear.  I don't have the comfortable clothes that they are thinking of--no yoga pants, no sweat pants, no baggy soft clothing of any kind.  Though, I do have a pair of bright pink and orange striped fleece jammie bottoms from Old Navy.  The thought of wearing those out of the house kind of horrifies me.  I am not the type of person who enjoys wearing my night pants in public.  The UT girls seem to love doing that at the grocery store.  Why is that? 

If I wasn't alone tonight, I would totally be opening a bottle of champagne and toasting the big day.  I'm so completely happy that this is happening.  I feel myself completely blushing with giddiness when ever I end up talking about it.  Though, one of my coworkers (whom I will call Fuzzy for no particular reason), did ask if I can really say I'm getting spayed since my uterus is not being removed.  What a fucking killjoy. 

P1 is trying to jump in to the tv and join the Boston Med medical team.  He thinks one of the nurses is really hot.  Seems P1 would rather jump in to wander the streets of Boston.  These guys are totally my kids.  The best not-from-my-body kids!  They both turned around when the obligatory shot of Fenway flashed across the screen.  Do you need any more proof of how perfect they are?

Okay, maybe P1 wasn't so perfect earlier this evening when he jumped on top of our floor lamp, making it and himself come crashing to the floor, shattering glass everywhere.  Then.  THEN he played with the glass shards like they were little catnip toy mice.  Luckily, no one was hurt, and I just had a really fun time sweeping out the livingroom and kitchen to ensure that I got every little sliver.  Thanks, P1.

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